Just Do it January

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Robert H. Schuller

I remember when I was five. I wanted to do everything and I didn't think anything was impossible. I dreamed of being a firefighter because they had a cool uniform and got to slide on the poles. I wanted to be an astronomer because I was fascinated looking at the night sky. I wanted to be a model because it just sounded fun. I wanted to play musical instruments, speak foreign languages, go to Antarctica, and get straight A's when I went to school. When I got older, I wanted to be a lawyer because I wanted to be a voice for being that did not have one. I wanted to be a newspaper columnist to show my strong opinions to the world. I wanted to be a vet because I love animals.

When you get older, you fear failure. You fear embarrassment. You have more knowledge of the world that tells you your dreams are unlikely. You learn what your weaknesses are, often faster than your strengths. I worked hard in school, but I could never be perfect and also did better in some subjects than others. I took tests well but was bad at projects. In third grade when we started writing journals and the five paragraph essay and such, I was so afraid to write because I thought I would be judged by what I wrote. I loved answering concrete multiple choice questions, but I hated answering open ended questions out of fear of being wrong. I did eventually outgrow that. I learned that I'm tone deaf so I didn't join band in fifth grade when many of my friends did. I learned that I just do not have the body for a model, but I wasn't even that interested in clothes and makeup and such when I got older. I was fascinated by science, but when I learned about in school I didn't do well in it and thus gradually lost my interest. I learned I would need to be good at math and science to be a vet, and that I am also squeamish around blood. I learned that law school is hard to get into and the debt I would end up wouldn't be worth the limited job prospects the degree would offer.

I asked some of my friends what they would do if they knew they couldn't fail. I received a variety of answers, including fly, become a millionaire, become a pro bowler, write and publish, adopt a child, take the CPA exam, pass college math, and study human behavior. One answered "try to fail". Another one said that failure is impossible.

A few weeks ago, I was out with friends and they wanted to play pool. I knew it was something I probably wouldn't be good at, but I was willing to learn and try it. At first I did suck. A lot. But I gradually got better.

Sometimes I think maybe it is more fun to fail a few times before you succeed. There are no words in the English language to describe how wonderful I felt the times in my life that I tried something many times and failed before I got it.

I've decided that my January will be "Just Do it January". I do know there are some things that I do not want enough to shoot for, like go to law school. But there are other things that I want to do and I will try. I want to dye my hair. I want to read a book for fun. I used to love to read but then I got burned with reading for school in 9th grade and became to ADD to sit and read a book(or watch TV even), and since that I've barely been able to read for fun, even in the summers. The summers there was a new Harry Potter book I would read that, but it took me so long to finish. I want to try tell a friend something about myself that I very rarely tell anyone, and see if I am still accepted. I want to go into a job interview actually thinking that I will get a job, and not think about the economy and my lack of experience(not that exactly need a job now, but practice is good). I want to buy a scratch lottery ticket. I want to be more social. I want to pass stats and speech and research. I'm going to try to try new things all month and see how I do.