I hate grades

I hate grades. Why are there arbitrary letters and numbers to measure success? And is success really something that can be measured? All it shows is how well you did on one particular group of things at one particular time by one person’s judgment. There can be so many things that can get in your way. Like that teacher that won’t give more than two A’s a class. Or you’re so stressed that you just can’t focus on the test. Or you tried to take a test when you were sick. Different teachers, schools, classes, different everything measures it in different ways. Like in one class a 94 can be a B and in another class it could be an A. A 79 could be a C+ for one class and a D+ for another. How do getting 79 percent of the points go from average and really close to above average to just barely passing?
I’ve reached the point where I’m just tired of it. I love to learn. And I’m not afraid of working hard. Like I just want to take a class, learn as much as I can, work hard, and not see my grade at the end of it because I just don’t care. Like I don't mind writing a paper, in fact sometimes I might even enjoy it. But then someone with a Ph.D gets to stamp on a number based on how good he thinks it is. The paper I crank out the night before and BS my way through it might get an A. One I actually spent a couple of weeks writing and got proofread by a tutor might get a C.
One time when I was writing a paper at the coffee shop I overheard a study group next to me where someone was all, “I don’t care about that; I just want to know what’s on the test?”. And then someone else said, “That’s the problem with American students. All we care about is our grades. We pay all this money to get the grades but not too learn”. And that’s true. That’s all we care about is what’s on the test. We’re sitting in class learning great information and all we ask is, “Do we need to know this for the test?” We don’t care about discussions or interesting facts. And then of course there’s the test that you spend hours upon hours studying for and nothing you studied is on the test, leaving you with intense frustration.
I used to be one of those students very focused on grades. If it was a class I thought I was good at like English or social studies, I’d get so mad at myself over a B+. Even in math and science I would still try everything to get a B and be a little disappointed if I fell short and got a C. I continued this into my freshman year of high school, and at some point during my sophomore year, probably when grades started being posted online, I just gradually starting giving up. The stress was just too much, and I saw that I couldn’t be perfect. I was mad at myself for my first semester in high school’s GPA of a 3.2. But at that point by junior year I was just so focused on maintaining a 3.0, which was good enough for me if it wasn’t for others. But even that was a struggle. I thought I’d do decent going to an obscure, small Christian college I’d never heard and found on the internet that wasn’t selective in admissions at all. And little did I know about the skewed grading scales and all the smart people there.

What if there wasn’t this whole focus on grades? I think grades can just be this whole competition thing. There are people that can never be satisfied with an A-. Yet other people struggle to get their C. It just becomes a number game of how can be the best at each stupid assignment. A GPA is just a stupid number, it shouldn’t define your self esteem but sometimes it does. My high school was super competitive on class rank. A 3.2 was in the bottom half. I don’t think it had anything to do with grade inflation. It was because I just lived in a city filled with A listers. There were students who could take four honors classes and get weighted A’s in all of them. Everything focused on success. In school we all compete over grades. In life, we just start competing in our careers. Who can make the most money and who can have the biggest house and the nicest car. And then that’s when some people will cheat to get ahead. Students are struggling with their grades and decide that a peek on the test next to them won’t hurt. Collabarating on an assignment that’s supposed to be done independently is no big deal; whatever has to be done to get ahead. And then that just starts bad habits. It continues in the real world. People continue cheating to get ahead. Enron lied about their profits. Martha Stuart traded secrets in the stock market. Everyone is just trying to reach an arbitrary measure of success. What if people cared more about other things? What if honesty and compassion were valued more than success and intelligence?
I’m not saying grades are completely bad. They teach you to work hard. They can get you into good schools and get you scholarships and help you keep scholarships. But I think the system could use improvement.



"The crippling of individuals I consider the worst evil of capitalism. Our whole educational system suffers from this evil. An exaggerated competitive attitude is inculcated into the student, who is trained to worship acquisitive success as a preparation for his future career." Albert Einstein

What is Marriage

What is marriage?
Throughout history, in different cultures, and by different individuals, humans have had different opinions about what marriage is. Marriages have been for economic, social, political, and religious purposes. They have been both heterosexual and homosexual. They have been arranged by families and by the individuals. Some people prefer to have elaborate ceremonies, or others prefer to just go to the courthouse. Some people will marry to start families, for social status, to ease economic burdens, or to be with the person they love. Everyone has their own definition of marriage, and this can unfortunately make living together in a society complicated.
Marriage has been a subject of controversy in America. Until the 1967 Supreme Court case Loving vs. Virginia, interracial marriage was illegal in the United States. Forty five states currently define marriage as between a man and a woman. While five states and Washington DC only define it as between two people. The federal government previously only recognized heterosexual marriages, but this was ruled unconstitutional in July 2010. It was argued that marriage falls under the state’s jurisdiction and that it was denying a civil right.
Recently, many opposite sex couples are living together without getting married. According to the 2010 Census report, unmarried heterosexual couples cohabitating (living together yet unmarried) has increased by thirteen percent. Many of these people grew up in a generation where nearly half of marriages ended in divorce. I think marriage may be starting to mean less to some people, or that people are more hesitant to commit to marriage.
I do not believe that marriage should be a political institution. The government should recognize domestic partnerships between two people, and make marriage a personal affair. This should give couples the rights to share health insurance benefits, inherit property, hospital visitation, and all other benefits that are currently enjoyed by marriage. Those who are interested in marriage can still celebrate this with their families, friends, and churches. Marriage can become more of a social and religious institution rather than a political one. This way, everyone can keep their personal definition of marriage and have it recognized within their social circle. At the same time, everyone can have the rights provided by marriage. This supports the American ideal of equality while respecting all Americans’ beliefs regarding marriage.
I do not think it would be fair for the government to continue to recognize only heterosexual marriages and grant civil unions for same sex couples. I think that is like having a “separate but equal” institution and treating them as second class citizens. Under Jim Crowe laws in the 1960’s, it was not right to practice segregation with African Americans. Saying that same sex couples can have a civil union but not get married is almost like saying that children cannot not attend school with children of different races and therefore have to attend a “separate but equal school”.
As a country that values equality, we should give same sex couples the same rights as opposite sex couples. At the same time, everyone can define marriage for themselves. The Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal, regardless of their sexual orientation, and therefore are entitled to liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

If I Die Young

These are a lot of muddled thoughts in my head; I don’t expect you to understand.

This may seem morbid, but some recent events that I’ve heard about lately that haven’t affected me directly but have affected people I know have inspired this.
A body was found last night that is believed to be a girl who had been missing for over a week at NIU. I didn’t know her but I had heard her name before; she graduated the year after me at Neuqua. http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/10/dekalb-police-call-news-conference-in-missing-student-case.html
Last weekend, a junior at my high school was camping with his family and a tree branch fell on his head and killed him. Just like that, a tree branch randomly fell, hit just the right spot on the head, and a young life was lost.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39738057/ns/local_news-chicago_il/
Last night, an act in Trollstock sang “If I Die Young”. That song just resonated with me. When I got back to my room, I searched the song on youtube and looked up the lyrics. The vocal range was just amazing. The band was actually singing something about life, not just random lyrics with a good dance beat. It might really think about life. Next, I saw a facebook status update about Toni Keller. I then typed her name into Google as I’ve done several times the past week to follow what was happening. My heart crushed when I read the news that human remains had been found.
This may seem cheesy and everyone says this. But right I’m just feeling this. You really never know how long you have on this earth. The lyrics said, “I’ve had just enough time”. If you were to die tomorrow, could you honestly say that you’d had enough time? We all have things we want to accomplish out of life. I made a bucket list of 100 things over the summer and so far I’ve only done three. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw8W6hYGZ0E
The lyrics also said that life isn’t always what it should be; a mother should never have to bury her baby. That is just so true. You hear about a senseless tragedy and feel for the families who have to go through losing a child. A few weeks ago I saw a quote that really inspired me by Arthur Ashe, “If I were to say, God, why me? about the bad things, then I should have said, God, why me? about the good things that happened in my life”. I think it really takes a strong person to say that. I googled his name after I read this, and found that a lot of interesting things had happened in his life. He was a champion tennis player and considered this a blessing. He was an African American born in the late 1940’s and experienced discrimination. He was an activist for civil rights and protested the South African apartheid. Shortly after winning the Wimedelon, he suddenly had a heart attack, which seems unusual for an athlete in his thirties. This brought attention to world about genetic heart disease. He had to have two heart surgeries after that. In the 80’s he discovered he’d contracted HIV from the blood transfusions he received. This was at a time when not much was known about AIDS and there was a lot of prejudice around it. He died of AIDS related pneumonia around the age of fifty, leaving behind his wife and a young daughter. The fact that he didn’t question the bad things that happened in his life shows a lot of character. The average person questions and is even angry at God over life events. But to be able to accept with courage and look at your blessings is amazing strength.

Another point in the lyrics also say that people will listen to you when you're gone. Last Wednesday I wore purple because of all the gay students have died recently from hate crime or suicide. How many people did Hitler have to kill before people stepped in? How many people had to die of AIDS before people wanted to do something about it and drop the stigma. Sometimes you have to die to have a voice. You'd think people could listen to you when you're alive. People shouldn't have to die for things to change.
I don’t think there is anything that in the world that can justify or even lessen the pain from a tragedy. Every day life reminds that we live in a fallen world. But I think you have to remember that you are blessed with life. How you spend it is up to you.

My Favorite Things

1. the Bible
2. dogs
3. laughter
4. my laptop
5. diet coke
6. shoes
7. trees
8. politics
9. working out
10. rainbows

:)

:)

This Shows How I Feel Right Now

"Let Go"-BarlowGirl

Yeah I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it's bigger now
And I'm afraid You'll let me down

But how can I be certain?
Will You prove Yourself again?

[Chorus:]
'Cause I'm about to let go
And live what I believe
I can't do a thing now
But trust that You'll catch me
When I let go
When I let go

What is this doubt in me
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You've shown
Your plans are better than my own

And I know I won't make it
If I do this all alone



I don't know where I'm going or what I want next. I need to take my hands off the wheel sometimes.
He mush became greater. I must became less-John 3:30

Bucket List

Bucket List
1. Swim with dolphins
2. Go bungee jumping
3. Publish something I wrote
4. Live life to its fullest
5. Follow Christ
6. Make a difference in someone’s life
7. Have a conversation over coffee with as many different people as possible, one at a time
8. Leave a dollar where a kid will find it.
9. Complete a long term volunteer commitment i.e. AmeriCorps or Freedom Corps
10. Tour Europe
11. Start a conversation with a telemarketer.
12. Take a hot air balloon ride.
13. Go whitewater rafting.
14. Volunteer an overnight shift at a homeless shelter.
15. Work at a dog kennel, pet store, book store, or big box store (lol).
16. Learn sign language.
17. Witness a birth.
18. Go paddle boating.
19. Go whitewater rafting.
20. Donate a gallon of blood(not all at once)
21. Vote for president (2012).
22. Test drive a Volkswagen Jetta.
23. Write a letter to a newspaper/magazine editor & get it printed.
24. Work on a political campaign.
25. Ride an ATV.
26. Dye my hair red
27. See a Broadway show in New York.
28. Make or be in a youtube video with at least 200 views.
29. Have a duel with silly string.
30. Write a NaNoWriMo novel.
31. Get a bachelor’s degree.
32. Kiss the Blarney’s Stone in Ireland.
33. Volunteer at an animal shelter or dog rescue.
34. Not to be morbid, but to be there when someone PEACEFULLY passes away.
35. Demonstrate Christ’s selfless love to someone.
36. Fit into Victoria Secret sweatpants.
37. Ride a motor scooter.
38. Wade in a fountain.
39. Dance in the moonlight.
40. Get my cartilage or rook or perhaps nose (something besides earlobe) pierced.
41. Own a Toyota Matrix.
42. Drink coffee while listening to a good melody and hoping.
43. Have a career that helps people.
44. Continue failing until I succeed.
45. Name a car that I exclusively drive.
46. Dance in the rain.
47. Take a road trip with friends.
48. Be more self confident.
49. Cook a full East Indian dinner.
50. Shake hands with a celebrity or national politician.
51. Get a free icee on July 11 and drink it all at once until I have a brain freeze.
52. Get through a statistics course.
53. Put a quarter in a slot machine in Vegas & say goodbye to it. I won about $10!
54. Ride a mechanical bull.
55. Experience an earthquake without sleeping through it.
56. Read the Bible in a year.
57. Finish all the books I own that I still need to read.
58. Sew a pair of PJ pants.
59. Take a spinning class.
60. Hold a kitten.
61. See a solar or lunar eclipse.
62. Do another 30 hour famine.
63. Buy coffee or something for a stranger.
64. Be in a protest.
65. Find a four leaf clover.
66. Walk a rope bridge.
67. Play with puppies all day.
68. Learn how to skateboard or ripstick.
69. Keep a blog regularly for a year.
70. Don’t talk for a day (only done it for a school day).
71. Let a Magic 8 Ball dictate my life for a few hours.
72. Buy a cartoon of free range eggs.
73. Do a Chinese fire drill.
74. Go to a mosque, synagogue or a temple of some sort.
75. Get kicked out of a store or restaurant.
76. Be awake for 48 hours straight(my record is 42)
77. Drive a convertible or a car with a moon roof and blare the music.
78. Play Twister with different elements(ie condiments, dish soap)
79. Participate in a Polar Plunge slip n slide.
80. Write a “you’re awesome letter” to a different person everyday for a month.
81. Have a pet fish (never had one before).
82. Spend a day at an airport, drinking coffee, people watching, and journaling.
83. Go on a road trip with friends.
84. Take a photography class.
85. Learn how to edit videos, work a soundboard, and other cool techy stuff.
86. Renew my long expired CPR certification and then get first aid certified.
87. Have a job as a tour guide.
88. Stay at a monastery or any spiritual community for a few days.
89. Live a 50% tip at a restaurant.
90. Successfully give a speech in class.did it yestderday!
91. Go to at least 40 states.
92. Ride a segway.
93. Paint each fingernail and toenail a different color.
94. Go real camping in a tent for more than a night.
95. Have a lucid dream(one that I control)
96. Donate a yard of hair(about a third of the way there not all it once)
97. Take horseback riding lessons
98. Spend a day doing random acts of kindness.
99. Have a cart race at Wal mart.
100. Teepee a house.