Favorite Quotes/Bible Verses

"'May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done" When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.~Jimi Hendrix Do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be stronger men. -John F. Kennedy "To love at all is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis "I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when He is silent." -Anon The Lord will cause us to stand in our lot, and our place is appointed by His infinite wisdom. A wiser mind than our own arranges our destiny, The ordaining of all things is with God, and we are glad to have it so; we choose that God should choose for us. If we might have our own way we would wish to let all things go in God's way. Being conscious of our own folly, we would not desire to rule our own destinies. We feel safer and more at ease when the Lord steers our vessel than we could possibly be if we could direct it according to our own judgment. Joyfully we leave the painful present and the unknown future with our Father, our Savior, our Comforter. -Charles Spurgeon 2 Corthinians 12: 8-10:Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. There’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color—nothing—no sexual orientation, that makes us better than anyone else. We’re all deserving of love. - Sandra Bullock you must be the change you wish to see in this world- gandhi success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm- winston churchill i learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. the brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. -nelson mandela If I were to say God, why me about all the bad things, then I should say God, why me? about all of the good things that have happened in my life-Arthur Ashe "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, dedicated citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind-Gandhi Give the world the best you have and it will never be good enough. Give the best you have anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never really between you and them anyway.-Mother Theresa What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Robert H. Schuller To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. never stop fighting. -E.E. Cummings Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are anger and courage. Anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain as they are. -St. Augustine To love another person is to see the face of God-Victor Hugo I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -Mohandas Gandhi We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. -Jonathon Swift Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. -Bob Marley I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.- Marilyn Monroe You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. -Winston Churchilll Sometimes God calms the storm so his child doesn't rage. Sometimes God calms his child and lets the storm rage. ♥ God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr Despite everything I still believe people are good at heart-Anne Frank Success is not final, failure is not final, it is the courage to continue that counts-Winston Churchill I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me-Philippians 4:13 Even a broken watch is right twice a day-my dad As long as there is one man or woman who should be free, as long as slums and ghettos exist, as long as any person goes to bed hungry at night, as long as the color of a man's skin is his prison, there must be a divine discontent. We Christians have no right to be content until the principles of Christ are applied to all men and women. -Billy Graham And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those that love Him, to those that have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 "Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point I'm trying to make." -Michael Scott “I have told you many things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4 “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” -Proverbs 31:8-9

its okay to wander

I may not know where I'm going in life, but I don't see that I need to. I can take everything a day at a time and just watch my life unfold. It does not mean that I don't have dreams and goals, I do, but I can be open to other things. And life does not always go the way you plan. I'm excited to start this new semester and a new chapter in my life. I'm living in my own little apartment. I was elected to sit on Student Association. I did not get hired back at the job I had last year due to budget cuts; but now I have an opportunity to pursue something new. I plan on writing for the school newspaper again this semester. My summer was very uneventful. I could not find a job(will ANY business other than a pool hire someone for just the summer?!!) and took one class. My summer was big full of nothing. In some ways it was nice though, the college student lifestyle can lead to burnout. In the spring semester I took several hard classes, worked 6-10 hours a week in the financial aid office, had a little side job as a personal aide, and had trouble balancing everything. I was always in class, doing homework, at work, meeting with tutors, meeting for group projects, in a meeting, finding something somewhat substantial and gluten free to eat, and occasionally getting sleep.

2011

2011. It was an interesting twelve months. I turned 21(!), adjusted to a whole new diet, took my first professional social work course, passed biology, rode the Harry Potter rollercoasters at Universal Studios, went to my parents’ hometown of Midland, Michigan for the first time in years(kind of like a second home to me with most of my relatives living there), got carded for an R rated movie for the first time (I didn’t get carded when I was 15 and there are times I don’t get carded for drinking, I was shocked to get carded for a movie at 21), asked for random roommates and lucked out with fabulous ones, got to have a car at school, met new friends, held my cousin’s baby and let him play with my hair and grab my nose, started two new jobs that I really enjoy, took ballroom dancing lessons, dyed my hair a lighter brown, learned how to read ingredient lists in a whole new way, and got halfway through my college career. The reason that that was the longest run on sentence ever that can never legally be one sentence is because in some ways I feel that was how my year was. My Thursdays last semester were long days, running between classes, work, meetings, and tutoring from 8:45 in the morning until 8 at night. My whole year seems to be a blur of classes, work, medical tests, and always being busy. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster in some ways, with good things and bad things always happening. It was nice in some ways, always staying busy and having things to do. However, I didn’t have much time to stop and reflect. But now, with the boredom and freedom of interim, I do. I realize I learned how to seek the support of friends and family when I needed it, and the relationships that I was able to strengthen. I realized how good I have things in some ways. Although it really sucked having health problems, I thought of people who are in worse health and of people that cannot afford health care. In some ways my eyes were opened to new issues. Like the access to health insurance in this country. Or how the FDA regulations for reporting ingredients of products for people with food allergies really isn’t as good as it should be. I learned about things I never thought I would have before. I learned it always helps to think positive. When bad things happen you can choose to sit there and be upset, or you can choose not to. I have learned to become more conscious of my body and how I’m feeling in the past year. Beyond knowing not to eat gluten, I have learned how certain foods affect my stomach and I’m starting to better learn what to eat when.
I have never been much on new year’s resolutions, but there are a couple of things I do want to accomplish this year. For one thing, my eating habits have gotten out of whack with a new restrictive diet and living in the dorms. It got to the point last semester that I rarely ate breakfast or lunch, and if I did it wasn’t healthy. This semester I’m going to try to get up five minutes earlier everyday and grab a rice cake or applesauce for breakfast, and then make it a point to go back to my room for lunch for a frozen dinner. If I don’t have time to go back to my room, I will make it a point to pack a healthy snack like nuts.
Also, last year I discovered my self confidence holds me back and I want to fix that. I want to try new things and not let the fear of failure get in my way.
And spiritually, I think I lapsed a lot last year. I’m not big on organized religion and sometimes I feel church has more hindered than helped my relationship with God. However, it did provide me with more accountability and a set time to spend with God. I rarely went to church last year, and as the year wore on I went less and less. I have a couple of churches I enjoy in the Palos area, but my family and I have basically lost connection with the church I grew up in. since I don’t go there anymore, I want to try to find a church at home that I enjoy going to on breaks. This semester, I want to go make sure to go to outcry every week and also go to Sunday night worship each week. More importantly, I want to make sure I set aside time every Saturday to read the Bible and pray. And perhaps I should find a devotional book to work through as well.
Every year, I seem to spend more time reflecting on last year then making goals for the next year. I like to look at what I have experienced and how I have grown on a person

Just Do it January

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Robert H. Schuller

I remember when I was five. I wanted to do everything and I didn't think anything was impossible. I dreamed of being a firefighter because they had a cool uniform and got to slide on the poles. I wanted to be an astronomer because I was fascinated looking at the night sky. I wanted to be a model because it just sounded fun. I wanted to play musical instruments, speak foreign languages, go to Antarctica, and get straight A's when I went to school. When I got older, I wanted to be a lawyer because I wanted to be a voice for being that did not have one. I wanted to be a newspaper columnist to show my strong opinions to the world. I wanted to be a vet because I love animals.

When you get older, you fear failure. You fear embarrassment. You have more knowledge of the world that tells you your dreams are unlikely. You learn what your weaknesses are, often faster than your strengths. I worked hard in school, but I could never be perfect and also did better in some subjects than others. I took tests well but was bad at projects. In third grade when we started writing journals and the five paragraph essay and such, I was so afraid to write because I thought I would be judged by what I wrote. I loved answering concrete multiple choice questions, but I hated answering open ended questions out of fear of being wrong. I did eventually outgrow that. I learned that I'm tone deaf so I didn't join band in fifth grade when many of my friends did. I learned that I just do not have the body for a model, but I wasn't even that interested in clothes and makeup and such when I got older. I was fascinated by science, but when I learned about in school I didn't do well in it and thus gradually lost my interest. I learned I would need to be good at math and science to be a vet, and that I am also squeamish around blood. I learned that law school is hard to get into and the debt I would end up wouldn't be worth the limited job prospects the degree would offer.

I asked some of my friends what they would do if they knew they couldn't fail. I received a variety of answers, including fly, become a millionaire, become a pro bowler, write and publish, adopt a child, take the CPA exam, pass college math, and study human behavior. One answered "try to fail". Another one said that failure is impossible.

A few weeks ago, I was out with friends and they wanted to play pool. I knew it was something I probably wouldn't be good at, but I was willing to learn and try it. At first I did suck. A lot. But I gradually got better.

Sometimes I think maybe it is more fun to fail a few times before you succeed. There are no words in the English language to describe how wonderful I felt the times in my life that I tried something many times and failed before I got it.

I've decided that my January will be "Just Do it January". I do know there are some things that I do not want enough to shoot for, like go to law school. But there are other things that I want to do and I will try. I want to dye my hair. I want to read a book for fun. I used to love to read but then I got burned with reading for school in 9th grade and became to ADD to sit and read a book(or watch TV even), and since that I've barely been able to read for fun, even in the summers. The summers there was a new Harry Potter book I would read that, but it took me so long to finish. I want to try tell a friend something about myself that I very rarely tell anyone, and see if I am still accepted. I want to go into a job interview actually thinking that I will get a job, and not think about the economy and my lack of experience(not that exactly need a job now, but practice is good). I want to buy a scratch lottery ticket. I want to be more social. I want to pass stats and speech and research. I'm going to try to try new things all month and see how I do.

Seeing Others as Humans

Through every time period and every part of the world, humans have persecuted, tortured, and killed one another. Our history books are filled with wars, genocides, slavery, terrorist attacks, and massacres. That does not include the countless stories of crimes against individuals that we may never hear, such as abduction, rape, murder, prostitution, and abuse. These are dehumanizing acts.
In my first class today, I had a guest speaker from an agency that serves male prostitutes. He shared horrifying stories of childhood sexual abuse, homelessness, oppression and persecution experienced by these men. Then in my second class the lecture was on slavery and segregation against African Americans. Later I read a news story that was very tragic. A security video in China showed a car that run over a toddler, slowed down, and then ran over her once again with the back tire. The next car ran over her as well, hitting the already severely injured child. Both vehicles hit and ran. Over a dozen people walked or drove past, leaving the little two year old girl bleeding in the middle of a busy street. Someone finally picked her up and took her to a hospital where she died after being in critical condition and under intensive care for a week. I cannot fathom how such heinous acts can happen. I realized that victims in these incidents were dehumanized. The people hurting them momentarily seemed to forget they were humans. Powerful groups will often treat people of different races, ethnicities or religions as second class citizens.
Cain felt intense jealousy that drove him to murder his brother (Genesis 4). Humans have let themselves be taken over by their emotions since the beginning of time. People in positions of authority have a temptation to abuse and oppress people who are under them. Just as the rich want to oppress the poor and the strong want to oppress the weak. People get caught up in their everyday lives and do not take the time to help someone in need. Maybe if we remembered that we are all humans and loved our neighbors; the world would be a better place.
I heard a priest say that world peace must start on a personal and individual level. If you want the world to be a better place, you need to work towards it in your everyday life. This goes beyond do not steal or murder. If someone cuts you off in traffic, try to be patient. Rather honking and cursing to yourself, let it go and remember that person may be having a bad day. When you have a conflict, try to see the other person’s perspective in the situation. If someone is in need, push aside your own agenda for a moment and see what you can do to help.
I see that the world has gradually gotten better and I know we will continue to. Just a hundred and fifty years ago, slavery was legal in this country. Forty years ago African Americans were free but were still segregated. But today, we have an African American president. Although there will always be evil in the world and humans will always have temptation to sin, we will keep on improving.

Death Penalty

In 1993, Gary Gaugher called McHenry County police after seeing his parents’ dead bodies, according to a PBS newscast. After an interview with law enforcement officials, they claimed that they had received a confession from him, but it was not recorded and Gaugher denied it. He was arrested and put on trial for two counts of murder. Physical evidence found was inconclusive. He was found guilty and sentenced to death, although he continued to claim his innocence. On an appeal, it was reduced to life in prison. Gaugher was eventually granted a retrial on the grounds that there was no evidence of his confession. He was released from prison after three years. Two men later were later arrested for the murders and convicted based on their own confessions and DNA evidence. According to the Northwestern University School of Law Center on Wrongful Convictions, Gaugher said at his release, “Until this, I really believed in the criminal justice system”.
Gaugher was one of thirteen men in Illinois released from death row because of innocence between when the United States reinstated the death penalty in 1972 and 2000. In response to the potential deaths of these innocent men, Governor George Ryan declared a moratorium on the death penalty in 2000. The 167 people that were on the death row then were given life sentences in prison, according to the Chicago Tribune. He called for a review on the death penalty before it could be reinstated. In a speech, Ryan stated that “Our capital system is haunted by the demon of error: error in determining guilt and error in determining who among the guilty deserves to die. What effect was race having? What effect was poverty having?” The moratorium is still in effect, and no one has been executed in ten years.
On March 9, 2011, Governor Pat Quinn signed a bill ending the death penalty in Illinois. He also commuted the fifteen people on death row to life in prison. Illinois is now one of fifteen states and the District of Columbia that does not have the death penalty, according to Amnesty International. However, one member of the state senate and a member of the state house are already calling for reinstatement, according to the Chicago Tribune. They have introduced a bill that the death penalty should be allowed for the murder of a police officer, firefighter or trial witness, and also for multiple murders or torture.
Some people feel the death penalty is necessary to deter crime and to help the families of victims. However, George Ryan said when he declared the moratorium, “Yet if I did not take this action, I feared that there would be no comprehensive and thorough inquiry into the guilt of the individuals on death row or of the fairness of the sentences applied.... Abraham Lincoln said, ‘I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.’ I can only hope that will be so.” The state cannot bring back a murder victim by killing the murderer. Gandhi is attributed to saying, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.
The death penalty is a final act that cannot be undone if innocence is found. Our justice system is imperfect and errors are made. As humans, we can never have a perfect system, so we should not practice irreversible killing. When Jesus saw the women in adultery that was about to be executed, he did not support it. He said, “Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone” (John 8:7).

Anticipation

I typed the word "anticipation" into to the title and looked it up dictionary.com. and I saw the definitions as:
1.
the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated.
2.
realization in advance; foretaste.
3.
expectation or hope.

And now I think a better word to describe what I'm feeling right now may be "apprehension".
1.
anticipation of adversity or misfortune; suspicion or fear of future trouble or evil.
2.
the faculty or act of apprehending, especially intuitive understanding; perception on a direct and immediate level.
3.
acceptance of or receptivity to information without passing judgment on its validity, often without complete comprehension

But these seems like I'm definitely expecting something bad, and in some ways I really just don't know. Perhaps "concern"? Anyways, I'm in the calm before the storm. Summer is about halfway through, and boring as usual. At least I have work to keep me busy two days a week. Looking back at last semester I don't know how I got through it. And my next semester is going to suck too. Maybe more or maybe less. But everything will ride on this. I really can't believe that I'm halfway through college. Halfway. At least if you do the traditional four year route, which I hope to God that I will.
But I realize that college for me personally hasn't been about what I have learned in the classroom. I figured out in high school that most education is pretty pointless, and grades are not a measure of success. The experience of college has totally changed me as a person. And some of the crappy things that happened to me last semester I wouldn't trade in for the world because of what I got out of it. When my high level of stress, partly from my health problems, caused me to have a conflict with a roommate it made one thing lead to another, and give me an answer to question that I'd been asking God for years and in some ways was angry about. And I was really satisfied with the fact that I could figure out for myself through my experiences.
It sucks to be on a such restricted diet while living in a dorm and only having access to a microwave and not even having a car to get to Trader Joe's. Gone are the days when I can be a normal college student, swipe my ID at the dining hall, and voila. Gone are the days when I can take advantage of free pizza. Yet this has taught me to plan ahead and to be creative and resourceful. I've learned how to make omelets and quesadillas in the microwave.
I learned to advocate for myself. Last semester I learned how to talk to on campus to get what I needed. I begged to the Office of Learning Services to give me a stats tutor for a few weeks until they gave in. I learned how to deal with requesting custom meals and then requesting a meal plan exemption all together because I just couldn't get meals without the risk of cross-contimation. I spent time and stress away from my schoolwork to try to arrange a better housing option for next year so that I could cook for myself, only to end up back in the dorms. I've learned how to adapt to challenges and adversity.
I've been told by several people that they think I've had a rough life. Well, yes, I've had had some crappy things happen to me, but hasn't everyone? To be honest, I feel sorry for people who give up to easily. In my life, I've had to try hard and often fail several times before I can get what I want. It kills me to watch people snap their fingers, and either get it the first time or just give up. If I want something, I don't let anything get in my way.
I've also learned about how people bring different perspectives into situations and have different values. I had an assignment last semester to reflect on personal experiences with diversity I have had in my life involving race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, disability, religion, and socioeconomic class in a twelve paged single spaced paper. By recalling and reflecting all of these experiences, I realized about how everyone has different characteristics, but we are still all a part of the same humanity. I also grasped that God did not create races, ethnicities, or disabilities. He created each person as an individual and then society created labels and categories. I now strive to see everyone as an individual created by God. Disability, ability, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic class does influence who someone is. But there should not be generalizations based on these things. We do not need to categorize or stereotype.
People from different backgrounds will bring different perspectives into situations. I am now almost halfway through my college experience. I think that the main thing that I have learned by going away to school is to be more open-minded about other people’s beliefs and opinions. I went to a large public high school that I considered to be very diverse, but college has been a whole other experience. By meeting people from around the country and from different cultures and backgrounds, I have been exposed to different perspectives then the ones I have grown up with. During the first few weeks of my freshman year, I felt a little intimidated being exposed to such a range of new ideas. However, I have found myself starting to be more open to different thoughts and sometimes to even question my own beliefs. I think it is important to remember and respect that people will bring their own perspectives into situations. When having a conflict with someone, it may be caused by different values and listening to each other’s sides may make it easier. Most of what I have learned about diversity has not come from the classroom, but by meeting, interacting with, and attempting to understand different people in my everyday life.

I recall towards the end of my senior year of high school when I got cold feet about going away to college. I sought advice from older friends who had chosen to gone away and got the same answers: That it would be rough, but it was an experience that could never be duplicated and would change you for the better. I'm grateful I took the leap.

I know the fall will be hard. But I anticiapte the next step in my life and want to see what I can gain from each challenge. I'm grateful from the perspecitves I've gained from my experiences and look forward to what will happen next.